Many of us, no matter how feminist we are, join with men in reducing women to their appearances, dividing women among themselves through competition, jealousy, envy of physical traits.
Polly Young-Eisendrath, Women and Desire
Since childhood, women covertly learn to compare themselves to other females and lie about it. How do we learn: from the beauty pageants, cookie sales, report cards, sports competitions, dating, college, and the office.
Comparisons comprise a real part of our everyday living, and as such, envy— the spawn of self-comparisons— needs a real place in our emotional management repertoire.
Jealousy and envy, though used interchangeably in colloquial conversations, have their differences among psychologists. Some psychologists state that jealousy exists among three or more people while envy exists among two people.
For instance, I would say, “I am jealous that Mark and Sarah are now exercising together and I have to exercise alone.” But, “I envy Sarah for having lost ten pounds before I did.”
When asked, “Are you the Jealous Type?,” by writers for Good Housekeeping magazine, Helen Hill, a dark-haired, dark-skinned woman of Italian descent, and mother of three, remarked “… I have this uncontrollable jealousy of skinny blonde women. They’re everything I’m not.”
In this same article, Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D. explains that jealousy is essential for survival. “If there’s a limited supply of something—whether it’s food, love, or jobs— then not acquiring it may actually threaten your survival…Jealousy may be a nasty little emotion, but it developed out of a real need,” according to Fisher.