What do dieting failure and death have in common? According to author Doris Helge, failure seems to trigger a series of stages as distinct and predictable as the stages of dying as described by Kűbler-Ross in her book On Death and Dying.
These emotions involve:
-
1. Shock
2. Fear
3. Anger and blame
4. Shame
5. Despair
How do we manage these emotions so that we can move on to dieting success? We experience each one of these emotions fully and without restraint, question or guilt. We learn from them. And then we let these feelings pass.
This emotional catharsis rarely happens because we let our inner judge run rampant and deem ourselves “guilty” of dieting deviancy.
According to Janet Bannowsky, a personal trainer and professional figure competitor, “There’s no guilt in dieting.”
At least there shouldn’t be any guilt. We question our emotions and label ourselves as “losers,” “fat asses,” and “wimps” at our most vulnerable dieting moments. This self-judgment delays our ascent to self-discovery and self-acceptance. Experience your emotions and send your inner judge on an extended vacation.
Before you succumb to your feelings of guilt, heed the advice of author Betsy Cohen. In The Snow White Syndrome, Cohen suggests the following steps to combat self-sabotage:
-
- Act kindly toward yourself.
- Look at what you are doing to hurt yourself and do something good for yourself.
- Find supportive friends to help you forgive yourself. (If you don’t have cooperative friends, forgive yourself twice.)
In the face of learned helplessness, initiative dies on the vine. Persistence wilts. If we believe our efforts are futile, we take less action. When we do act, we tend to give up if we don’t have immediate success.Susan Schenkel, Giving Away Success