Our fears of success or failure and our unresolved emotional issues concerning what we deserve will assist us in self-sabotaging.
Doris Helge, Transforming Pain into Power
Nathaniel Branden tells us in A Women’s Self-Esteem that “success anxiety” occurs when things go so great that they conflict with your deepest fears of failure. You silently fear that things will change or you’ll be exposed as a failure, frightfully certain that your success cannot last.
Oh! What If I’m Too Sexy for My Life, Too Sexy for My Job, Too Sexy for Slobs…
People treat you differently when you are skinny as opposed to when you are fat. I am not talking about your dearest and truest friends. However, strangers, co-workers, bosses and men on the prowl will treat you differently when you are thin.
You don’t have to believe me of course; there are psychological studies that show people hold stereotypes about strangers and treat them differently based solely on the person’s looks.
There’s an unspoken social pressure and social acceptance of thinner people in our society. Deny it if you will, battle it if you must, but it is still there. So what does this mean?
If your diet works, you have a sanctioned right to feel anxious about how people will treat the thinner you. Look at the big fuss the media makes over stars who gain and lose weight. We make the same hoopla over weight loss in the office and in our conversations with friends.
People get nosy when you lose weight and start asking questions galore. “How’d yah lose the weight? Why did you lose so much weight? What diet are you on?” Or they can get cynical. “You looked better when you were plumper; you should put on some more weight. I bet you feel special now that you’re Ms. Slim and Trim.”
I criticized my sister-in-law for losing over 50 pounds. My problem was that I was not accustomed to her new look (not to mention a bit envious) and I, like most of her other critics, wanted her to revert back to the fat version. There is social pressure–– pressure to maintain or change who you are, or to justify who you are.
How are you going to deal with this? How can you handle success anxiety? Be selfish. If you diet for yourself, you genuinely don’t care what others think about you. Also, assert who you are. If you are confident with your new weight, let it show in whatever manner you see fit. You do not need to apologize for doing something good for yourself.
Additionally, if you are scared that you will not maintain your ideal weight, relax. Just remind yourself of why you decided to go on a diet in the first place. Is that reason still valid? Do you now have more reasons to maintain your ideal weight? If so, add them to you list.